Funny Games (1997)

GENERAL INFO:
Director: Michael Haneke
Studios: Filmfonds Wien, Wega Film, Österreichischer Rundfunk
Starring: Arno Frisch, Susanne Lothar, Ulrich Mühe, Stefan Clapczynski, Frank Giering
Tagline: Ein Alptraum ("A Nightmare")
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Genre: foreign film, German language, horror, thriller, psychological thriller, suspense, drama
Scare score: D+
Rating: A-

Plot overview:  Wealthy German family Georg (Mühe), Anna (Lothar), and son Georgie (Clapczynski) arrive at their lake house for a relaxing vacation.  While still unpacking, the odd Peter (Giering) shows up at the door asking to borrow eggs for the neighbors, which he clumsily breaks two separate times.  When his eloquent friend Paul (Frisch) shows up, the unpleasantness begins and they break Georg's leg with a golf club.  With the husband out of commission, the family submits for a night full of more terror than they could ever have imagined.

The entire time I watched this movie I was just thinking about how great a shot-for-shot, verbatim English remake would be.  After finishing, I was glad to hear that that already happened in 2007, so I will have to check that out some time soon.

This film was bizarre; it certainly kept me attentively watching throughout its entirety, but it was never really too scary.  In fact, I read that Haneke didn't intend for this to really be a 'horror' film, which it certainly isn't if you limit your definition of horror films to slashers and monsters.  The best way I could describe this to a more mainstream horror audience would be that it does everything right that The Strangers does wrong.  Basically, our two antagonists (but are they really antagonists?) show up at a nice house to torture an unsuspecting family simply because they can.  Perhaps this film makes the torture even sicker than the sheer violence of The Strangers because Peter and Paul's acts are carried out always in game form.  Some of the worst psychological torture came for me in moments such as when the men play a German version of eeny meeny miny moe (a la Elephant) in order to chose a victim, or when Anna is told to play along in order to chose her husband's fate.  Each member of the family at various times is falsely given the power to determine how another family member will be harmed, thus straining one's own conscience as well as the family relations.

Perhaps more than family, this is a movie about a woman.  Lothar shines as a believable wife and mother (perhaps the former more than the latter) from basic tasks such as cooking then later on as a protector and even as a tragic hero.  In fact, unlike women in most horror movies, Anna is never a victim of her womanhood (in the scene where she is made to strip, the environment - though certainly hostile - remains polite under the manners of the psychopaths, and her body is only complimented and neither touched nor violated aside from taking away her privacy).  While Georg's manhood is taken away after his leg is broken, and while Georgie's innocence is lost throughout the ordeal, Anna is our hero - strong and able to attempt escape - but she always remains a mother and wife although she suffers for it.  The filming and script make her the most important member of the family for us, and from the beginning of Peter and Paul's reign of terror we find ourselves rooting for Anna to triumph - a fact which Paul is aware of and calls us out for.

The most unique aspect of this film for me was Paul's character, his breaking of the fourth wall, and his god-like control over the events of the movie.  Although a negative force in the film (assuming we root for the wholesome family, their lives, and their values), Paul becomes the lead player drifting in and out of our reality as viewers and the fictional reality within the movie.  Paul and Peter's conversation at the end of the film is a commentary on the events of the film itself, and Paul - aware that he can break the fourth wall as he pleases - even makes the statement about fictional realities or dimensions being real and actual merely because they do exist, by definition, albeit within some realm of fiction.  Some of the most chilling moments of the movie for me were when Paul would turn around and look through the camera directly at us.  I thought it was funny when he would talk about how the movie was progressing, what we wanted and expected as viewers, and what would be good action and suspense within the events of the film.

*SPOILER ALERT*

One of the strangest things for me was after Anna successfully grabbed the gun and killed Peter.  That made sense to me; it was what we expected (maybe) because it's how most horror movies go, a sudden turn around so that our heroine can break free.  When Paul pulled that stunt with the remote I knew that it was hopeless and that the family was really doomed.  (Well actually, I already knew how this ended because I read about the final scenes before watching. Womp womp)

I thought Paul and Peter were so perfect, so psychotic, so creepy.  Their dialogue made their characters so excellent to me, and that's what I wanted most to be replicated in the English-language version of this film.  I most liked how well-spoken Paul was, and how he kept teasing Peter for his weight.  The scene when Paul keeps talking about Peter's background - with the story constantly changing - was really eerie.  Also, the fact that they kept wanting to eat and play games during their stay at the household further showed the 'ennui' they claimed to be suffering from, and as I've stated in previous entries, the worst kind of terror is a realistic terror that happens simply because it can.

We have to appreciate the commentary this film makes on violence - pure and pointless violence - which is always appropriate considering the amount of terrible shootings, killings, and fights we hear about in our world today.  The cruel and blasé happenings in this film, and the possibility of them happening in real life, push Funny Games into the horror genre in my book.

Final critique:  A lot of people would find this film disturbing, which I can only assume Haneke wanted to happen after watching.  It isn't a scary film, per se, rather what happens in the film and the lack of any motive thereof is what becomes scary for us,  the viewers, no longer safe in our reality that Paul is able to penetrate and even perhaps control as this film breaks away from most horror movie archetypes, going so far as to break two of my cardinal rules in an anticlimactic, unimportant way.  Funny Games, then, becomes not only a horror movie, but an interesting look into a terrible nightmare void of reason that will have us questioning what we would do in a situation where our rights as humans and love as a family are tested and stripped slowly away.

Waxwork (1988)

GENERAL INFO:
Director: Anthony Hickox
Studios: Vestron Pictures, Contemporary Films, HB Filmrullen
Starring: Zach Galligan, Deborah Foreman, Michelle Johnson, David Warner
Tagline: Stop On By and Give Afterlife a Try
MPAA Rating: R
Genre: horror, comedy, voodoo, teen
Scare score: D
Rating: B+

Plot overview:  A group of teenagers is invited to a late-night showing of a new and mysterious waxwork in town by its suspicious owner (Warner).  The inside of the museum holds a large collection of morbid scenes featuring wax models of 'the most evil men from history.'  As some of his friends begin to disappear, Mark (Galligan) begins to suspect that these life-like waxworks may be sucking in victims in one madman's plot to unleash unspeakable evil into the world.

I stumbled upon Waxwork almost completely randomly during a late-night Wikipedia search session, and I was so happy with my choice.  This movie has a little bit everything for everyone.

Coming more than forty years after the 1953 House of Wax really left its mark in the wax sub-genre of horror, I thought this movie had a cool plot for a horror basis with just enough of that '80s sci-fi and humor to make it an interesting, although not particularly frightening - film.  What I guess drew me most to this movie was the numerous fantastic references to historical and fictional characters such as Dracula, the Marquis de Sade, and the Mummy.  I thought it was strange that the waxwork/ plot of the movie pitched these as all being real people (a werewolf?), but hey I guess the whole plot is out there so why sweat the details.

Back to the details actually (okay, so I'm a stickler), a big problem I had with the movie was that the whole evil plot of the waxwork caretaker was referred to as "voodoo," which it really had absolutely nothing to do with beyond the usage of specific possessions of these 'real' men in their wax recreations. Oh well, that's corny '80s Hollywood horror for you.

All the acting is pretty '80s, which is hard to get away from, but I did enjoy all the quirky, archetypal teens dealing with their day-to-day and then their separate fights to survive various imaginative sequences.  Again, I thought all of these horror allusions were really cool, it allowed the movie to explore various genres and break away from the confining wax museum.  We as viewers were given a selection of refreshing death scenes from across the ages, from Dracula's castle to a mummy's tomb to a nice nod at Romero's living dead.  Sure it was easy to crack up at that oversized gremlin that was the werewolf, but later on I thought the brief gore in the Dracula sequence was pretty gross, and then the large final battle was really a blast.  I didn't actually expect Galligan (what's good, Gremlins?) to be the star of this show, nor did I expect the weird and quiet Foreman to become our leading lady and final girl even though she was the obvious virgin throughout.  Either way, I enjoyed Galligan as a hero we could get behind and cheer on, but I wasn't a big fan of Miss Foreman as Sarah.

I watched this movie immediately after watching Human Centipede, yet surprisingly this one had me jump one or two times, which the former film did not.  True, it was like 4 AM, but to this fun movie's credit, it did have me a little scared at least two or three times (mainly jumpy moments while my guard was down).

Final critique:  I can't think of much more to say about this movie.  I really did enjoy it, and I think a good thing about it is that it provides a few silly scares that everyone can enjoy.  It's rated R I think mainly due to language and some slight gore, plus it's about a group of teenagers and you know how they can be, but all in all I thought it was pretty harmless.  I definitely recommend this movie to anybody looking for a fun '80s flick with a few thrills.

Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010)

GENERAL INFO:
Director: Tom Six
Studios: Six Entertainment
Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura
Tagline: Their Flesh is His Fantasy
MPAA Rating: R
Genre: foreign film, horror, thriller, body horror, mad scientist, torture, tourists
Scare score: B-
Rating: A-

Plot overview:  After their rental car blows a flat tire in Germany during their European vacation, best friends and girly New Yorkers Lindsay (Williams) and Jenny (Yennie) seek shelter in an isolated house.  As their dream vacation quickly turns into their worst nightmare, both girls are drugged and captured by the owner of the house, the misanthropic Dr. Heiter (Laser), a renown surgeon specializing in the separation of Siamese twins.  Now hoping to perfect a reverse surgery, the two girls and a third victim (Kitamura) become the living pieces of the sick doctor's new pet.

I know there was tons of talk and shock etc. when this movie came out a few years back, but it never really piqued my interest.  To be honest it sounded to me like the film took a wild, gross plot (rumor even had it that Six though such an operation would be possible) and went really mainstream with it, resulting in a sell-out that I didn't end up hearing too much about afterward.  Well I don't know if all of that is even true, but I have to say that I finally got around to seeing this the other night and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I was honestly surprised that this wasn't a low-budget gore fest.  I thought this movie had a pretty decent story behind it, with the vacation-gone-wrong theme that scared us so much in Hostel or Turistas.  I specifically appreciate horror based on tourists being kidnapped/ tortured because it is a very practical fear that I think most people (or their mothers) can relate to after stepping out of their homes or off of a plane.  While the whole co-joining of people was something new to me, it came as no surprise that it was done so clearly as a continuation, of sorts, of Nazi experimentations.  Like, the story is about a German doctor - no shocker there that he is portrayed in long, clean lab coats; tall, shiny boots; a modern and extremely clean house where he can conduct his crazed experiments on live specimens.  To me, this was just another joust from the Dutch in their endless game of how they can still insult Germans by calling them Nazis.  Gotta love Europeans.

Dieter Laser was such a weirdo in this movie and I loved it.  From the first scene when the girls arrive at his house and he looks outside with those creepy eyes, or when he bluntly tells them "I don't like human beings."  Ugh that was so good.  Big applause to his freak out scene later in the movie as the cops get on his trail and he begins to realize he may not be getting away with all his crimes.  I read that he stayed in character at all times while on set, which would have made filming this with him even more uncomfortable.

Speaking of filming... what was that like for Williams, Yennie, and Kitamura?  Like imagine you're an aspiring actor or actress and you land a lead in this film and then they're like "Ohh yaa the only catch is that after the first third of the movie where you scream and cry a lot, in the last two-thirds of the movie you're on your knees with your mouth against so-and-so's butt.  K see you on set byee!"  I want to go find interviews with these people to learn how weird that must have been.

I liked our three victims.  I was almost surprised in the first few scenes of the movie when the girls are getting ready for their night out that they didn't come across as the typical immature, annoying, all around bad actresses that we are so used to in modern horror.  Especially Williams struck me as a mature, serious actress... I mean yeah, that changed later on when their acting was reduced to crying, screaming, and then crawling around, but props to them anyway for those first few scenes.  Kitamura pretty much cracked me up the entire time.  I really wasn't expecting some random Japanese guy in the film, but I loved how vocal he was and I thought the Japanese language was beautiful even though it was distressed and probably vulgar most of the time.  But what a character, with some interesting dialogue to boot.

The cinematography, namely the exterior shots of the house (and the interior, too) impressed me.  It was nice to see some thought put into what I was expecting to be a sell-out blood bath.  Honestly, the good filming combined with the several *almost* escapes plus the amount of time it even took for the whole centipede bit to begin really surprised me; together they really gave a thought-out movie feeling to this film, and I spent my night pretty delighted to be watching a fun and often funny movie (it had me laughing quite a bit).

Final critique:  This movie certainly wasn't what I was expecting it to be.  I know now that I'll be recommending this to people, although it certainly is not for everyone (just mention the basic plot to most people and you risk them vomiting on your shoes).  To be perfectly honest, however, I thought that the movie stayed on the polite side of things, and I found myself wanting more gore, more excrement, and maybe less tears (does that make me weird?)  Well I guess my next step would be checking out the sequel, which I've heard makes up for the blood etc that this first one leaves out, but after reading the synopsis I don't know that I can handle it!  Stay tuned, my pets.

Victim (2010)

GENERAL INFO:
Director: Matt Eskandari, Michael A. Pierce
Studios: Pierce/ Williams Entertainment, Kingdom of Light Entertainment, Zero Gravity Management
Starring: Stephen Weigand, Bob Bancroft, Brendan Kelly
Tagline: It's Not Always Who You Think
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Genre: psychological thriller, drama, mad scientist
Scare Score: F
Rating: D-

Plot overview:  A young man (Weigand) is kidnapped and forced to undergo extreme mental and physical torture in a surgeon's (Bob Bancroft) twisted plot for revenge.

I realize I have been gone for months, dropping out of the horror movie and blogging scene to enjoy a lazy summer.  Well boredom has kicked in, and my duty to The Horror Blog has found its way back into my schedule.  

Unfortunately, this is the movie I chose to start with.  I was looking forward to a lazy Saturday night on Netflix's awful horror movie selection, and for some reason this seemed appealing.  The movie poster certainly helps, but what really pulled me in was the the short description for the film basically made me think I was in for a perhaps gorier, English-language version of Almodovar's La piel que habito which was so excellent I don't know why I haven't blogged about it.  

This movie was nothing that non-spoiling internet reviews promised it to be: it was boring, not frightening whatsoever, there was no gore considering the movie is about forced surgery, there was very little plot evolution and everything was predictable.

Returning to Almodovar, I don't get how the two movies can exist separately, and I was upset to learn that Victim is the older of the two films.  The plots are exactly the same except Victim is boring and slow and cheap and poorly done with no artistic valor that I could find.  I mean, to be honest I did really like Georgie (Kelly), and while Dr. Volk really annoyed me I thought he was pretty perfectly creepy.  In fact, this movie is saved by the fact that the acting is not horrible; the actors are just not given much room to do their thing, per se.  But really, this movie has the same exact plot as La piel que habito - like the plots are 98% identical.  How is that legal?  Oh well.  Almodovar trumps.

Back to the bash, this movie was boring and frustratingly predictable - but to its credit, I didn't feel the urge to turn it off (hence a D- rating instead of a flat F).  The movie delivers in no way except for a kind of sadistic pleasure of revenge which kept me hoping something shocking would happen.  There was that one little plot twist regarding Rachel (Jennifer Howie), the daughter's, fate, so I guess that was interesting, but still this movie was a kind of one-time mistake in my book.

Final critique:  I'm back on the horror blogging scene and this is my flaccid debut.  This movie has a cool (though not unique) plot which had me setting out with big expectations.  The film didn't deliver, but I was able to sit through it hoping it would improve.  While it never was great, this is not the worst horror movie I have seen, so if you feel like sitting through La piel que habito's ugly little sibling, this is the film for you.

April Review

For your consideration:

1.  Strangers on a Train (1951): A-
2.  I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997): B+
3.  Wait Until Dark (1967): B+
4.  I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998): C

Strangers on a Train (1951)

GENERAL INFO:
Director:  Alfred Hitchcock
Studios:  Warner Bros.
Starring:  Farley Granger, Robert Walker, Ruth Roman
Tagline:  It's Off the Beaten Track!
MPAA Rating:  PG
Genre:  thriller, psychological thriller, suspense, crime, mystery, black and white
Scare score:  C+
Rating:  A-

Plot overview:  While heading to visit and discuss divorce with his unfaithful wife Miriam (Laura Elliott), amateur tennis star Guy Haines (Granger) crosses paths with eccentric and good-for-nothing socialite Bruno Anthony (Walker) on a train.  Bruno wastes no time in prying into Guy's "private" life - which the tabloids are currently exploiting - and although Guy remains shy, Bruno goes so far as to explain his idea of how to pull off the perfect murder.  But when Bruno takes this exchange too far and begins acting on his plan, all signs point to Guy as the guilty party.  Will Guy be able to clear his name and save himself from Bruno's antics?

Ever since I saw a CSI episode when I was 10 where this movie title was dropped (leading to a brutal murder via screwdriver to the back of the head), I have wanted to see it - not sure why I waited so long!  Obviously this film has been very famous for over 60 years now and for a good reason.  This movie was very enjoyable, not only because it's Hitch and I love him, but because on one hand we have a lovely black and white classic, and on the other we have an entertaining thriller.  From the beginning I was never quite sure where the plot was headed, and I found myself doubting various characters.  They proved me wrong a few times, and even the ending managed to surprise me.

The plot itself is interesting although I didn't find it to be the most plausible thing ever thrown at us (not that the events of The Birds are much more likely...)  Let's be honest.  Bruno's mother should realize her son is psychotic.  If I were her, I would get him help and then separate myself from him.  If I were Guy, and an obsessive weirdo approached me on a train, I would never let him discuss details of my intimate life solely because the tabloids have exploited them.  I would ask him to please stop talking to me.  The minute he brought up murder plots, I would become extremely concerned.  And furthermore, if that same man ever actually killed, thinking he was doing me a favor, I would go straight to the police.  No, they wouldn't pin it on me simply because a "stranger" did it.  Law enforcement doesn't work that way.  So what if they saw me fighting with the victim shortly beforehand?  Silly Guy.

Miriam is so perfectly evil.  I mean, we practically have to hate her as soon as she starts toying with Guy in her first scene.  I guess Bruno does some good after all...  Speaking of that crazy Bruno, Robert Walker does a really good job of creating this creepy, annoying, eccentric character.  Bruno is so irksome, so irritating- so crazy.  Kudos to him.

I was a huge fan of Ruth Roman in the role of Anne Morton, the strong and beautiful daughter of the Senator.  She was a perfect, dedicated love interest for Guy, staying true to him even after learning about the situation in which he has become entangled.  I feel like all these old Hollywood movies have some beautiful starlet tucked into the cast.

Lastly, I was Team Guy from the first scene on the train.  Granger plays him expertly as a likable, honest character.  There was something very innocent, very human about this performance.  It seemed effortless, like Guy was a real, well, guy that you or I might know.  Obviously Horror Buff spends his free time swinging with a young tennis crowd in Southampton.  Back to Farley/ Guy, it's easy to sympathize with him, and that being said, I am pretty happy with how things work out.

My one problem, however, is that, based solely on how he reacts to the whole situation, Guy is clearly guilty in this movie.  The minutes he becomes aware that Bruno has committed a murder, and the second he decides not to go to the police, he becomes a criminal in my book.

*SPOILER ALERT*

So like, sure, maybe everything ends all fine and dandy for him- but he's a criminal.  There's no other way around it.  Sure I'm no law student, but I don't think he should be off the hook at the end of the movie.  And these are the characters we have going into politics...

My favorite scene was probably the one on the carousel towards the end of the movie.  I think they did a nice job of building up the tension here, and I liked the effects.  Also, I appreciated that the whole thing sort of crashed, sending innocent people off in various directions.  It's nice when actual things happen harming random characters, making the film more realistic than if they had spared them in some stupid way.  The train scenes were also enjoyable and interesting.

Final critique:  You should see this movie.  It shouldn't scare you (it gets a C+ for effort), but, as always, Hitch does a nice job of making us sweat.  Again, the plot isn't too realistic, but the story is presented in an attractive manner that we can really get hooked on.  It's the type of movie that reminds me why I love Hitchcock and why I love old movies.  There is some honest, human acting here that gets the job done without being over the top.  Plus, there's a lot more to the film than meets the eyes, or so I felt, regarding various subtexts of society and inward/outward appearances.  If anything, it might make you think again before striking up a conversation with a stranger on a train or subway.

Wait Until Dark (1967)

GENERAL INFO:
Director:  Terence Young
Studios:  Warner Bros.
Starring:  Audrey Hepburn, Alan Arkin, Richard Crenna, Jack Weston
Tagline:  A blind woman plays a deadly game of survival.
MPAA Rating:  Unrated
Genre:  thriller, suspense, thieves
Scare score:  D+
Rating:  B+

Plot overview:  Hoping to recover an old doll filled with pouches of heroin, conmen Mike (Crenna) and Carlino (Weston) are hired by bad guy Harry Roat (Arkin) to retrieve the item by whatever means necessary.  They have tracked down the doll to the apartment of photographer Sam Hendrix (Efram Zimbalist, Jr.) and his blind wife Susy (Hepburn).  Taking advantage of Susy's disability when she is home alone one night, the three men weave an intricate web of lies, fake stories, and false characters to gain Susy's trust and ultimately find the doll.  But will their treachery be enough to outsmart Susy in her own home?

I'm doing something a little different here, as I wouldn't consider this a "horror" movie, yet I am writing about it in my Horror Blog.  After two nights in a row watching slashers from the late '90s, I felt the need for a change and went further back to a much more well thought out, much better acted movie, that being Wait Until Dark.  I had heard tons about this great film, but I had never seen it.  As I watched it, I kept debating back and forth whether or not I would blog about it.  Well here we are.

I wish I had sat down at night in a dark room with a bowl of popcorn for this one.  Instead I started part of it, then watched the second part on my laptop in the afternoon while doing other things around the house.  That certainly distracted me a bit from the film, but I still really enjoyed it.

This is a smart movie.  It has that old feeling (and that older look), and aside from a few loud scenes on the street we can really allow ourselves to be comfortable even as the suspense of the plot grows stronger and the tension between characters seems unbearable.  I think it is a very bold move to have a main character be blind, which Hepburn acted superbly and affectionately, which shouldn't come as a surprise in the least.  I was impressed with her eyes as well, as she didn't wear glasses but maintained her gazed straight head at all times.

The three conmen might deserve more credit.  They are tough, mean, and intelligent, which usually isn't a factor for typical movie bandits.  Crenna isn't only a heartthrob, but when he shows actual feelings throughout (perhaps sympathy for Susy) he becomes a dynamic character.  I especially liked Arkin, although I was constantly confused by his strange, Godfather-esque accent and John Lennon glasses.  Together, they add a lot of drama to the film and give it almost a live theater feelings due to their strong acting and the small set of the apartment interior.

As far as my scare rating goes, this falls into the old category of movies that just can't scare us anymore since we're used to today's over the top terror.  I would only credit this movie with one scene that actually scared me, that being the first time Mike goes looking in the bedroom closet.  Didn't see that one coming.  The famous blackout scene was really excellent, making me wish I had been watching in the dark.  Unfortunately, it wasn't quite as scary as I was expecting it to be.

Final critique:  This is a great choice if you're looking for a pretty drama and action packed film on any night of the week.  The thrills are few but the suspense is high, and this movie doesn't lose sight of its integrity in order to deliver unnecessary scares.  Some parts are a little slow, and I think a remake would have a good chance of doing well, but in the meantime, see this original gem.

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

GENERAL INFO:
Director:  Danny Cannon
Studios:  Mandalay Entertainment
Starring:  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Brandy, Mekhi Phifer, Matthew Settle; ft. Bill Cobbs, Jack Black
Tagline:  Someone is dying for a second chance.
MPAA Rating:  R
Genre:  horror, thriller, sequel, mystery, slasher, stalker, serial killer, teen
Scare score:  C-
Rating:  C

 Plot overview:  One year after the events of the first movie, Julie (Love Hewitt) is readjusting to a normal life at college, in part due to her roommate Karla (Brandy), Karla's boyfriend Tyrell (Phifer), and a possible new love interest, Will (Settle).  After Karla wins an all-expenses-paid getaway to the Bahamas, things seem like they might finally be going right.  Unfortunately for them, killer Ben Willis (Muse Watson) is back, and with hurricane season in full force, the new group of four is trapped on the island with Ben swiftly killing off anyone who gets in his way.  Will Ray (Prinze) get there in time to save Julie yet again, and in the meantime can the four friends stay safe, even from each other?

This sequel isn't as good as the first film (few sequels ever are).  We are taken away from little old South Port and placed in the "Bahamas," where most of the film's terror takes place within a winding hotel resort.  I don't have tons to say, so I am going to keep this one quick.

The script is much better this time around.  The characters feel much more real and comfortable when they talk, and you totally get into that sassy, college vibe and slang (thanks, Brandy).  While the lines themselves might have been better, however, that doesn't mean that delivery really changed.  I guess in the horror genre we have generally accepted that the acting is never going to be great, especially in dumb teen horrors, but it was still a disappointment.

Casting in this movie is almost about as mythical as in the last one.  Love Hewitt is back, and brooding and negative as ever, so I am more than thankful for Brandy's upbeat, lively, lighthearted performance.  I mean, what college girl who is still suffering from the trauma of seeing her best friends murdered and potentially having murdered someone doesn't need a perky best friend and roommate, you know?  Unfortunately, this sequel's attempt to make the cast not-so-white results in two over-the-top caricatures in our core four, obviously with Mekhi Phifer being the biggest example.  I am a big fan of Bill Cobbs in a few of his roles, and while he spends most of his time in this movie as a mysterious, mumbling red herring, I still appreciated his presence.  Lastly, I mean, Jack Black.  Nuff said.

A few issues with the plot and action itself.  First of all, everyone reacts way too calmly to the many deaths of this movie.  We are dealing with ignorant college students, they should not see bloody dead bodies and be like "Jinkies!  Let's get out of here."  No.  They should be terrified and sick because of it.  The constant mindset of finding another corpse, then running away back into the hotel until they surely find another one gets real old real fast.

My biggest problems are about our dear old friend Ben.  The killer has completely changed his MO in this movie.  Yes, he wants Julie (and Ray) dead, and yes, he kills anyone who gets in his way.  Still, he kills far more frequently and even randomly in this movie.  From the beginning of the film, workers on the island begin dropping like flies simply for the sake of being around.  Left and right we have someone getting slashed, and it remains clear that it is for audience enjoyment rather than for the sake of integrity to the horror movie itself.  Furthermore, he is much less human this time around.  Whereas in the first film he was this scary and seemingly unstoppable, but very human, figure, in this movie he seems almost like Michael Meyers by his slow way of walking and ceaseless stalking.  Also, his voice is just so weird and forced in this installment, I can't handle it.  Do less, Ben.

Final critique:  I mean, no, this isn't a great movie.  But that doesn't mean it's not a decent, fun movie to watch when you're in the mood for some light horror.  The first one is certainly better, but this is not a bad choice for a lazy night at home when you're looking to get just a little creeped out by a group of dumb teens trapped on a stormy island as a stalker with a meat hook begins slashing everybody's throats.  Plus, with an awesome Titanic reference pretty early on, who could turn this awkward, forced sequel down?

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

GENERAL INFO:
Director:  Jim Gillespie
Studios:  Mandalay Entertainment
Starring:  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Freddie Prinze Jr., Ryan Phillippe; ft. Bridgette Wilson, Anne Heche
Tagline:  If you're going to bury the truth, make sure it stays buried.
MPAA Rating:  R
Genre:  horror, thriller, mystery, slasher, stalker, serial killer, teen
Scare score:  C+
Rating:  B+

Plot overview:  Exactly one year after hitting a mysterious man on the road and dumping his body in the ocean to hide the evidence, now distanced friends Julie (Love Hewitt), Helen (Gellar), Ray (Prinze), and Barry (Phillippe) are reunited under uncomfortable circumstances in their hometown of South Port.  Having been tortured by her guilty conscience for a year, Julie is horrified to find a note left in her house saying "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!"  As the group of estranged friends comes together again to get to the bottom of the mystery, a killing spree starts in the small town as a large figure in a fisherman's slicker suit carrying a lethal meat hook begins tracking down his four intended victims.  Who is the mystery killer and how does he know what happened last summer?  The four friends must fight for their lives to stop the murders and rest their guilty consciences.

I am probably the biggest fan of '90s-2000s teen horror movies.  There is something so wonderful about  the overdramatic plots, the awful scriptwriting, and the creative, often slightly provocative deaths.  I prefer this era of horror to teen slashers from the '80s (mainly due to effects, costumes, plots, and the fact that I was alive), and even today I don't find that horrors directed at young audiences or groups of friends deliver as much as they did in these days when they hit their prime.  It really brings back some good memories.

I Know What You Did Last Summer centers around a group of four (superstar) friends, so I mean with four of the hottest celebrities of the moment headlining, nothing could go wrong, right?  Wrong.  Again, I'm a big fan of this film (more for personal measures than practical ones), but Jennifer Love Hewitt bugs the heck out of me - I mean, how annoying is Julie? - which is never a plus when that's your main protagonist.  Still, she is the most empathetic one of the group, and automatically I think it's safe to assume that she will be our final girl.

Otherwise, I'm a huge fan of Sarah Michelle Gellar, Freddie Prinze, and Ryan Phillippe.  That's not to say their acting is great.... Let's talk about the script first.  It's pretty darn bad.  I found it awkward in many parts, mainly because we're dealing with a group of teenagers who are speaking like somebody put a script in front of them instead of allowing them to talk as they actually would.  On top of this unrealistic dialogue, the, er, acting doesn't really take the characters to high places.  Furthermore, this film relies pretty heavily on the assumption that the characters make some of the stupidest decisions possible given their situations.  Would I rather watch Summer Catch and Cruel Intentions?  I mean, maybe, but luckily for this little gem, the horror aspect brings me back every time.

We have a compelling mystery here, I'll give the film that.  There are great questions thrown at us (who knows?  who is the killer?) which leads us to question not only the host of supporting members of the cast (shout out to the creepy Anne Heche and the beautiful but horrendously rude Veronica Vaughn- I mean Bridget Wilson- but also our core four, as we think they are the only ones who truly know what happened that night.  I truly enjoy this type of mystery in horror films, that keep us guessing and guessing again until the puzzle pieces are put together just near the end, in a somewhat far-stretched but otherwise understandable way.

I think this film does a good job with the killer (Muse Watson).  The covered-head-to-toe look is creepy, and it prevents us from guessing who he might be - or even if "he's" male or female.  The best innovation here is the meat hook, hereafter made iconic to this film trilogy.  Some deaths are more exciting than others and we range from simple slashes with the hook to dramatically murdered characters carried away by this murderer's seemingly superhuman strength.  As far as this killer goes, he pulls off some pretty tricky stuff for a human which had me questioning the reality of his plotting more than once.

Better than the death scenes, perhaps, we have the suspenseful scenes which are a plenty.  Whether we are in a locker room, some sort of fish factory, the sticks of whatever state this is supposed to take place in (maybe one of the Carolinas?  Even though the cliffs are so obviously California), or especially a bedroom, this movie is filled with moments that make us want to curl up and cover our eyes before the dark figure swings out his hook yet again.

As far as cinematography goes, I didn't play very close attention to the actual filming of this movie, but it's one of those horror flicks that relies on typically dark, cluttered rooms, fog, nighttime, and various angles that show us the doors left open or the shadows crossing the hallway.  I wasn't crazy about the last 10 or so minutes of the movie, which I thought were pretty random, but otherwise I enjoyed the setting of South Port.

Final critique:  My biggest complaint with this film is the unrealistic dialogue and the anything-but-practical actions and reactions of this group of teens.  Still, I Know What You Did Last Summer is a sort of young classic: a horror film that might not have a lot of intrinsic merit, but that if you mention, most people will know the name.  My recommendation?  Watch it.  Have a sleepover, make some popcorn, have a pillow fight, and watch this movie to get all scared before bed.  The blood is minimal, the deaths are quick, the suspense is high, and our protagonists are just so charming.  If nothing else, you won't be wasting your time by watching this stupid, suspenseful film.

March Review

For your consideration:

1.  Poltergeist (1982): A
2.  Rosemary's Baby (1963): A
3.  Devil (2010): A-
4.  The House at the End of the Street (2012): B

Devil (2010)

GENERAL INFO:
Director:  John Erick Dowdle
Studios:  Media Rights Capital, The Night Chronicles, Blinding Edge Pictures
Starring:  Chris Messina, Logan Marshall-Green, Bokeem Woodbine, Jenny O'Hara, Geoffrey Arend, Bojana Novakovic
Tagline:  Bad Things Happen for a Reason.
MPAA Rating:  PG-13
Genre:  horror, thriller, devil, satan, trapped
Scare score:  A-
Rating:  A-

Plot overview:  While investigating a working man's mysterious suicide, recovering alcoholic Detective Bowden (Messina) gets called onto an occurring case in the same building.  Five strangers - temp security guard with a criminal record (Woodbine), old woman and apparent thief (O'Hara), young woman and serial divorcee (Novakovic), former Marine with a guilty conscience (Marshall-Green), and sleazy mattress salesman and crook (Arend) - are stuck between floors in an elevator, and one of them is not who, or what, they seem.  Egged on by the strong religious beliefs of security guard Ramirez (Jacob Vargas), will Bowden be able to save these sinners before it is too late?

I like this movie.  It isn't your most typical thriller due to the parallel but related plots, the numerous backstories, and of course the narration by Vargas.  I mean we've seen people trapped in a tight space with a killer or something supernatural in the past (House on Haunted Hill, Panic Room, and even the Saw series to an extent), but I think this movie, based on a story by M. Night Shyamalan, presents a neat new twist on the mysterious and terrifying situation of being stuck with a murderer.  This makes an especially stressful situation for the police and security who are forced to look on as what seems to be lots of bad luck prevents them from accessing the elevator.

This is a character driven film, relying on the psychological and physical torture the five intended victims must undergo during their time in the elevator.  One of my favorite things about this movie is how we are made to think that each one of the five could be the murderer, and then immediately after the blame switches the former suspect is exonerated.  This begins to play not only with Detective Bowden, but with the five other main characters, and then even us as the audience.  Wild ride!  While some of them, such as the mattress salesman, are easy to detest from their entrance, other characters seem perfectly innocent until we begin learning more about their pasts.  I think this is a nice commentary that regardless of our outward appearance, and regardless of how kind or innocent someone is today, who hasn't done something wrong in the past?  And who's to say that everyone will be forgiven?

Considering that a large chunk of this movie takes place between the various angles of the inside of an elevator, I thought the cinematography was good.  The first shot of the film, an upside down aerial view approaching Philly, was really cool.  Then from the scenes in the jumper's office, the basement, and especially the roof of the office building each contained their own excitement and especially suspense.  Like if fewer characters had come close to the edge of falling off a building my palms would have been a lot less sweaty.  Special effects were also great.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Let's talk about the horror.  This movie presents us with your standard And Then There Were None plot, exactly like House on Haunted Hill, except in a smaller confined space and with fewer little indians.  Oh yeah, and they're not all human.  That changes the game a bit.

I have to admit, every time the elevator went dark I felt pretty scared.  Especially when we got the sound effects that someone was dying but we didn't know who or how.  The deaths themselves were not the most creative they could have been, but hey, I guess they were working with what they had.  From these moments of blacked out terror - no, not that kind of blacked out terror, you St. Patty's fans - we really are given a treat of suspense and gorey surprise once the lights come back on.

Ultimately we are dealing with human psychology.  As the numbers begin to dwindle, we see a free for all, then a 2v1 situation, and finally the two final intended victims/ criminals left waiting for what's next to come.  I think that freaked me out, too, because I got to thinking, in a situation where I look like the murderer but I know that I am not, how do I convince the other innocent suspect(s) that we are all in the same boat?  Humans can be pretty scary when they want to be.

From the movie title and then from Ramirez's narration, we know that the devil is among or within the people trapped in the elevator.  That being said, I think it's poetic that they are caught, literally suspended in midair awaiting their deaths one by one.  The elevator becomes purgatory, and the devil becomes a dark angel collecting the sinners.  Clever, Shyamalan.  Otherwise, I think when we are finally shown who the murderer is it's a real treat.  As I mentioned before, each of the five principle characters seem equally innocent and then also guilty, which makes narrowing down one guilty person difficult.  This wasn't the first time I've seen the film, so I paid extra close attention to our diabolic friend this time around, and from what I found there wasn't any hint or clue that would make us suspect him or her any more than the others.  If I missed something, let me know!  I'm not going to ruin the surprise and tell you who the murderer is here.

Then we have the kind of epilogue in the final minutes of the movie, where I have to admit I was certainly expecting one thing to happen, but hey, I guess they wanted to teach some sort of message.

Final critique:  If this movie delivers anything, it's suspense.  The numerous scenes when the lights go out (a la Wait Until Dark) are pretty tense, while the rest of the movie itself is filled with building suspense, questions, and terror.  The whole film deals with religious themes of guilt, sin, and redemption, so don't be surprised to pick up on a lot of that.  Overall, it is an enjoyable movie and a good watch.  I mean, if you get scared really easily, you can always cover your ears for the scenes where the lights go out, but otherwise I found it to be an enjoyable amount of suspense, always keeping us on the edge of our seats.

Poltergeist (1982)

GENERAL INFO:
Director:  Tobe Hooper
Studios:  SLM Production Group, MGM
Starring:  JoBeth Williams, Heather O'Rourke, Zelda Rubinstein, Craig T. Nelson
Tagline:  They're Here; It Knows What Scares You.
MPAA Rating:  R
Genre:  horror, thriller, haunting, ghosts, poltergeists
Scare score:  B+
Rating:  A

Plot overview:  In the late '70s/ early '80s, the lively Freeling family lives a normal, happy life in a small but growing development called Cuesta Verde.  The youngest child, Carol Anne (O'Rourke), seems to believe there are 'people' living in the TV that she is able to communicate with, but her parents Steve (Nelson) and Diane (Williams) attribute this to sleepwalking.  After a bad storm one night, we see a beam come out from the TV static and implant itself in the walls of the house.  Shortly thereafter, friendly paranormal happenings begin to occur in the Freeling household, largely revolving around the sudden movement, repositioning, or even breaking of objects.  Although Diane embraces these supernatural events, Carol Anne finds the "TV people's" tricks boring while Steve even thinks they're dangerous.  Suddenly, things take a turn for the worse, and as the climax of the haunting on their house, the Freeling's young daughter Carol Anne is abducted into a parallel plain of spirits, able to communicate only when the TV is left displaying static.  In order to save their daughter and family, the Freelings bring in a team of paranormal investigators and parapsychologists headed by the empathetic Dr. Lesh (Beatrice Straight).  Once the team dubs the events too powerful and dangerous for themselves to handle, they bring in the small but powerful medium Tangina (Rubinstein).  It will take all the strength the family has to rescue their daughter from the angry spirits holding her captive beyond.

I mean, this is an awesome movie.  I remember seeing this a few times as a kid and just always loving it.  Now that I'm a bit older and keeping this movie blog, I'm happy to say my child-horror-movie-critic-self was right: this movie is simply great.

First and foremost, it is a movie about family.  We get that sense from the very beginning, that this is a pretty standard American family, living a pretty standard life in a pretty standard American suburb.  More importantly, they are happy, unlike most modern families we are presented with in modern film.  We have the happily married couple, who even as they raise their three children still manage to have their own fun.  The oldest daughter, Dana (Dominique Dunne), is our typical, angsty, even sexually promiscuous teacher (I love the line towards the end of the film when her mom mentions a hotel and she recalls it, presumably from a night with her boyfriend) - however, she clearly cares about her younger siblings, even if they drive her up the wall or spill milk all over her homework when glasses spontaneously begin to break...  Next we have the middle child and only boy, Robbie (Oliver Robins).  This is just your regular American little boy, who falls asleep eating potato chips, wears too much baseball gear, and is afraid of regular things like storms and terrifying clown dolls which shouldn't be kept at the foot of the bed.  Lastly, our precious Carol Anne is a 5 year old, blonde, cute, and innocent little girl.  So what if she talks to TVs after channels have signed off for the night?  This is a strong, functional family.

Some of my favorite scenes in the movie are just simple family moments: when Diane and Steve mouth "I love you" to each other, for example, or especially any time the family communicates with Carol Anne when she is trapped in the spiritual plain.  A lot of this has to do with a recurring musical piece, which whenever it played sounded a lot like a lullaby, and I assumed it was Carol Anne's theme.  There is some really touching music in this film, aside from, of course, the eerie stuff.

That being said, we are presented with a wonderful cast of characters, and there is hardly anybody to dislike.  I almost prefer having an invisible malicious force and no annoying humans as antagonists.  My favorite performer in this movie is absolutely JoBeth Williams in the role of the mother: she is fun, powerful, and so loving.  She truly brings life to the family.  I also liked Craig T. Nelson a lot, and he was a likable, fun dad.  The kids are also all pretty cute, and they do very impressive jobs considering their young ages.

Take a wild guess as to who my second favorite character is.  Zelda Rubinstein is this iconic, mysterious figure that always fascinated me since I first saw the Poltergeist trilogy as a kid.  Aside from her obvious stature, her voice has always stuck out to me as well.  She is so likable from the get-go, just this intelligent, supernaturally gifted "let's get down to business" type.  And of course, thanks to Tangina, little Carol Anne's fate is not an eternity of terror in some parallel dimension.

Let's talk about the haunting.  I like the premise of this movie, and as I've said before, I'm a sucker for hauntings.  There is something poetic about ghosts.  When the house itself becomes almost malevolent at times, I was forced to think of Insidious, which in hindsight probably borrowed a lot from this movie.  This film does a good job of combining the wild happenings with a human, practical cause.  The various haunted items, toys, closets, and entire property itself were individually creative, creepy, and entertaining.  I can't even complain about the special effects, which is saying a lot considering how old this film is now.  Well, the ghostly plasma shooting out from the TV or from the portal in the living room ceiling is a bit Ghostbuster-ish in quality, but otherwise, no complaints here.

I also like the mix of purely ghostly things with otherwise gore-y or psychologically freaky things.  Namely, the scenes in the kitchen and bathroom when the paranormal investigator has his mind (and food, and face) played with a bit by the ghosts.  Yuck.

Final critique:  You should see this movie in your lifetime.  It is a perfect amount of scary that I think most viewers can handle without being too scared.  Except for that one aforementioned scene with some gore, the movie proves to us the strength of family and love (and fun-sized mediums) in the face of unhappy spirits, malicious ghosts, haunted clowns, and even closets.  What isn't there to love?

Rosemary's Baby (1968)

GENERAL INFO:
Director: Roman Polanski
Studios: William Castle Productions, Paramount Pictures
Starring: Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes, Ruth Gordon, Sidney Blackmer
Tagline: Pray for Rosemary's Baby
MPAA Rating:  R
Genre: horror, supernatural thriller, drama, suspense, witches, cult, spawn of satan
Scare score: C+
Rating: A

Plot overview: Rosemary (Farrow) and Guy (Cassavetes) Woodhouse are a happy young couple living in a luxurious, new apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side. Guy is a driven, aspiring actor, and Rosemary is a kind but naïve homemaker and hopeful mother-to-be. Although warned by their dear friend Hutch (Maurice Evans) about the strange and dark history of their new building, The Bramford, the young couple are happy in their apartment and are openly embraced by their elderly, eccentric neighbors Minnie (Gordon) and Roman (Blackmer) Castevet. After Rosemary conceives, she goes through an increasingly painful pregnancy, but she has Minnie to help her with home remedies and even the care of one of New York's top obstetricians, Dr. Sapirstein (Ralph Bellamy). As her concern about her unborn child grows greater, Rosemary also begins to learn about the possibility that Roman's family and friends practice witchcraft. Unfortunately, Guy becomes more distant as his acting career takes off substantially. Ultimately alone and scared, Rosemary becomes more desperate to protect her unborn baby, although soon she will realize it might be herself that needs the protection.

This movie is great. Hands down, it is a slow and steady, suspenseful success. Following the eerie (irritating) opening music, we find ourselves in a very real 1960s Manhattan. Rosemary is perfectly chic throughout the whole movie, from her mod minidress, to the wallpaper she puts up in the nursery, to her iconic Vidal Sassoon haircut. While the plot isn't something I personally believe to be plausible, the world that it takes place within most certainly was copied from Polanski and author Ira Levin's real life.

Let's start by talking about Mia Farrow. I mean, come on. She makes Rosemary such an interesting protagonist, even though she spends most the movie confused, in pain, or scared. While there isn't exactly enough depth to make her very realistic (mainly just a mother's instinct to protect her child), there is something really interesting about her. I enjoyed following her on her scary and uncertain journey through pregnancy and potential insemination by satan. Mainly I liked her look: mod, frail, cute, and determined. She was a truly perfect choice for this role.

The other character that sticks out for me, as she did for awards committees at the time, is Minnie Castevet. Ruth Gordon is a ridiculous character from her first scene to her last. The best part is, there are absolutely women like this living in Manhattan that you encounter from time to time on the subway or sidewalk: those old, loud, noisy, tacky, 'devil may care' types— you know to stay out of their way. Ruth turns Minnie into an almost preposterous character who, while annoying, we can still find to be endearing. The mystery behind the many characters in this cast leaves us questioning who is good and who is bad until the end, when perhaps we question our own definitions of 'good' and 'evil.'

I guess the only thing I don't love in this movie is that it drags on at times. At 136 minutes, this certainly isn't the longest film we've ever seen, but the lack of action makes it more noticeable. Not that this movie would benefit from much more action than it already has, but I'm just saying. We can only watch Rosemary wander around pregnant and in pain for so long.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Otherwise I kind of enjoy that any logical audience member goes into the movie more or less knowing what's going to happen. Honestly, we are as in on the plot as the rest of the coven, with only Rosemary being left out. *Irony* Still, any film that can pull this predictable plot off while maintaining an audience—and finding new fans even 50 years later—is a home run.

Final critique:  If you are looking for a wild, fast-paced ride of scares and jumps, this is not the movie you want. If you are looking for a deeper, suspenseful, and subtly terrifying horror classic, then you've come to the right place. I would recommend Rosemary's Baby to any viewers, as it is a relatively calm and all around enjoyable movie with only a few scares or disturbing images. Really excellent film right here, perfect for a rainy afternoon or a quite night in.